November 8, 2009...10:08 pm

10 Things I WISH I Was Doing Right Now

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10. I wish I was on the train back to Hogwarts, drinking pumpkin juice and eating chocolate frogs…

9. I wish I was in the middle of the Earth, in a land called the Shire, having tea with a brave little hobbit whom we all admire…

8. I wish I was sailing to the Isle de Muerta aboard a commandeered vessel, trying to chase a black-sailed ghost ship of the damned, along with the greatest pirate I have ever heard of…

7. I wish I was making my way through the darkened hallways inside an ancient Egyptian tomb where a horrible, cursed and thoroughly evil mummy is waiting to be awakened when I accidentally read an ancient spell from the Book of the Dead…

6. I wish I was dallying over hills and under dales with a mischievous sprite, last name Goodfellow, as he causes confusion and mayhem between four unfortunate lovers foolish enough to go to sleep in the woods one midsummer’s night…

5. I wish I was playing hide-and-go-seek inside a large wardrobe, only to find an enchanted, snow-covered wood in the back, with a faun waiting to feed me sardines and toast and tell me stories and start me on a wonderful adventure…

4. I wish I was deep within a sacred valley, surrounded by a variety of cups, one of which is the Holy Grail, with evil Nazis waiting to shoot me as an aged knight warns me to choose wisely…

3. I wish I was under the sea, because its better down where its wetter and its always hotter under the water…

2. I wish I was hanging on to the edge of my seat as a short, little, egg-headed Belgian detective with a marvelous moustache is about to reveal who did it (could it be me?!)…

But most of all:

1. I wish I was done with all my homework. Boo. Hoo.

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