10. I wish I was on the train back to Hogwarts, drinking pumpkin juice and eating chocolate frogs…

9. I wish I was in the middle of the Earth, in a land called the Shire, having tea with a brave little hobbit whom we all admire…

8. I wish I was sailing to the Isle de Muerta aboard a commandeered vessel, trying to chase a black-sailed ghost ship of the damned, along with the greatest pirate I have ever heard of…

7. I wish I was making my way through the darkened hallways inside an ancient Egyptian tomb where a horrible, cursed and thoroughly evil mummy is waiting to be awakened when I accidentally read an ancient spell from the Book of the Dead…

6. I wish I was dallying over hills and under dales with a mischievous sprite, last name Goodfellow, as he causes confusion and mayhem between four unfortunate lovers foolish enough to go to sleep in the woods one midsummer’s night…

5. I wish I was playing hide-and-go-seek inside a large wardrobe, only to find an enchanted, snow-covered wood in the back, with a faun waiting to feed me sardines and toast and tell me stories and start me on a wonderful adventure…

4. I wish I was deep within a sacred valley, surrounded by a variety of cups, one of which is the Holy Grail, with evil Nazis waiting to shoot me as an aged knight warns me to choose wisely…

3. I wish I was under the sea, because its better down where its wetter and its always hotter under the water…

2. I wish I was hanging on to the edge of my seat as a short, little, egg-headed Belgian detective with a marvelous moustache is about to reveal who did it (could it be me?!)…

But most of all:

1. I wish I was done with all my homework. Boo. Hoo.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and germs, let the confetti fly! The BoredPoetess has reached her 100th blog posting!!! (But it took me two years to do it!)

It’s kind of funny, because just the other day I was thinking about doing a blog posting (probably because JLo put up a blog posting after about a million years of not posting anything, and then I realized that its been a while since I did something), and then I started to wonder exactly how many blog postings I had done since I started this wonderful web log. And THEN, imagine my surprise and joy to see that I was at exactly 99 postings! Isn’t it weird when you think about things and then immediately afterwards that thing happens? For instance, this weekend I was looking at my Mighty Mouse (the wireless mouse for Macs, for you PC people), and marveling at how long the batteries in that thing have lasted. And then, yesterday evening, a message popped up on my screen that said my Mighty Mouse had low batteries! Strange, huh? Maybe I’m psychic…

Anyway, I’m sorry that this monumental post has to be such a short post, but I suppose its better that way. Usually TV shows and things like that celebrate their 100th whatevers with reruns and clips from the previous 99 whatevers, and that always annoys me because I want to see new things, NOT old things that I’ve already seen. So, to prevent myself from doing that, I am going to end this posting abruptedly. That, and because I actually have homework due in a few days that has long required my attentions. So, if you feel like being nostalgic, my loyal readers, I encourage you to take it upon yourself to go back and reminisce about the previous 99 postings. And for you new readers who find this via a Google Feeling Lucky search or however you came about it (hopefully not looking for pictures of naked old men…haha, inside joke! Hope all you loyal readers feel special if you get it), I encourage you to take a look anyway. That’s all folks!

Good news: My car is now fixed, and doesn’t make that rattling sound anymore. One less thing to stress out about.

Bad news: I am sick of school, and its only midterm.

I have had so much work in the last few weeks, and now I have to start studying for my midterm exams on top of all of that. This coming weekend is my fall break and I shall have two whole days without classes or work, but even that isn’t enough incentive anymore to haul my butt to campus and make it through all my homework. And the irritating thing about my homework is that its mostly research and preparation for papers that are due at the end of the semester, so I don’t feel like I’m getting anything finished after I’ve sat for hours reading and taking notes. The good part about this is that I will not be stressing at the last minute of the semester to get things done, but the bad part is that all the the semester beforehand sucks.

My head feels like it just wants to fall off, and I’m pretty sure that my brain has shrunk up into a raisin. I swear, when I get the chance, I am going to spend all day in bed doing nothing but reading stupid books that I will learn nothing from, and I will  not even get up to eat or brush my teeth – other people will have to do it for me! (I will use the bathroom on my own though, I guess…)

This last week, though, I’ve decided to lessen up on my homework load and take more time to relax in the evenings, so I’ve taken up knitting. I’ve never been much for knitting, but lately I find it so mind-numbingly relaxing, that its the perfect remedy for my stress. Imagine – an activity where you just sit down in one place for hours at a time and mindlessly twist colorful string around sticks (which is basically all knitting is…).

I’m making this blanket that’s inspired by a blanket a friend made – basically all she did was take different-colored skeins of the same brand of yarn, and knit long scarf-like swatches, and then sewed them up together. I’m doing this, and I picked some of the most vibrant and almost gaudy colors that I could find; the brand of yarn I picked it mixes all sorts of colors in the wool, so that it creates this weird stripy effect. Maybe I’ll take pictures once I’ve gotten more of the knitting done. But this blanket is going to be tacky as hell – it’ll probably end up looking like a schizophrenic gypsy attacked a yarn cart and made a blanket in the process.

It'll look something like this, except with more tasteful colors and not like it came out of the '70s

So, yeah. That’s one thing I’ve been doing. And today I made a peach pie that I’m taking over to a cookout thing with friends later. I never realized how distracting cooking could be, and how relaxing that distraction is. I actually summoned up the courage to do a lattice top to the pie (you know, so that the crust gets that woven look), and it turned out fabulously, if I must say so myself.

OK, so mine doesn't look THIS nice, but it still looks pretty darn good.

The bad thing about the pie is that I had to smell it as it baked and as it sat on the counter until I went to work, so I watched an episode of “Pushing Daisies” to distract me. Big mistake – made me want to eat it even more!

So, yes, these last couple of weeks have been a bit much in the stress department, but I think the problem with stress is that when you start to feel a little stressed, you stress out about not stressing out, and then that stress starts to snowball until you, well, explode. And since I don’t particularly want to explode right now (I would prefer to wait until a more convenient time after final exams), I think taking these steps is essential to my happiness and health. And, after all, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are part of my unalienable rights as defined in the Constitution, so by knitting and baking pie, I am in fact enacting my patriotism.

I wonder if I could get out of paper-writing by telling my professors that research papers infringe upon my Constitutional rights? At this point, I think its worth a shot.

Well, if I’m going to be honest, today was a little bit of a crap day. I did get to have a wonderful weekend, as Wee Baby Sis and her friend Wonder Woman came to my place, and JLo and LaFonda and I had a poshy dinner party with tons of friends and MOUNDS of food (my fav’s were the dessert – JLo made these positively scrumptious gluten-free brownies and I made these caramel/chocolate/nut bars that taste like candy bars).

But my car’s transmission started acting up, and now my car makes this rattling sound whenever I accelerate – my car still runs like it did before, it sounds like its got asthma or something now. I swear my car is mad at me or something, because only a week ago I got a flat tire, and I had to put the spare on myself (actually, not hard at all, but I just like to gripe about it) and get the tire repaired. And now this sound! I really wish that I knew more about cars; when I dropped Wee Baby Sis off at her place, this guy outside her building was talking to us about cars, and for one minute…one GLORIOUS minute…he sounded like he could fix my car right then and there! But then he confessed that he, like me, knew very little about cars and that to the best of his knowledge thought it was probably a transmission problem too.  Oh car, what did I do to offend thee?!

And, as if that weren’t bad enough, the stupid car dealership’s phones were busy all day today, and I finally had to go online and make a service appointment (or tell them that I wanted a service appointment, as I have yet to get a confirmation of such an appointment). I’ll bet they’re in cahoots with my car, the villains.

And our apartment’s AC unit is doing odd things that it shouldn’t and so we had to turn it off until maintenance can mess with it. And the flush/handle on my toilet is broken, so I have to reach into the back part of the toilet with my hand to pull up the chain to flush it until maintenance fixes that. I’ll bet THEY’RE in cahoots with my car TOO!!!

Or I’m being stalked by a bunch of gremlins.

But its really not all that bad. At least classes were decent today – and for homework in my linguistics class, I have to watch videos of Yoda (you know, green dude from “Star Wars”) and study the syntax and grammatical structure of his sentences to see if I can see a pattern in their formation! That is my homework! HOMEWORK! It sounds too cool and random to be homework! Ahhh…I’d better get crackin’ on that now, I guess.

O, Procrastination – where would I be without thee? (Well, I certainly wouldn’t have a blog, that’s for sure)

It never ceases to amaze me how much more time I spend on the internet when I actually have things that I should be doing, as opposed to days where I have absolutely nothing planned and usually stay away from the world wide web. I’ll do about ten minutes of work, and then I open up Mozilla and get on YouTube. And I’m not really doing anything worthwhile – just killing time until my conscience forces me to do ten more minutes of work.

Killing Time - get it? It's a clock, and its been stabbed...oh, never mind

I’m trying to be very good about it – I’ve started checking out books from the library that I’ve always wanted to read so that when the temptation to procrastinate strikes me, I pull out a book and read from that instead of logging on. I’m working through some of G.K. Chesterton’s works right now, which I find slightly ironic because the stuff he writes about is much like the sort of things that I’m reading for some of my classes. Perhaps the only reason I don’t enjoy myself totally is because I know that its assigned reading. Perhaps the way to enjoying reading homework is to trick myself into thinking that I REALLY want to read it all for fun!

Somehow I don’t think that I have the mental discipline for that, though.

But despite this, I find myself on Facebook more often than I think I’d care to admit. And I don’t know why, because I don’t have enough friends to make it terribly interesting and I spend most of my time on this social networking sight debating whether or not I should change my profile picture. I HATE trying to get a new Facebook photo, because no matter what I do, it ends up having that Myspace-I-just-took-this-picture-on-my-own-to-make-myself-look-more-interesting-than-I-probably-am look. And it irritates me, because I hate it when people have those sorts of profile pictures! I know someone who takes a different picture of themselves everyday and posts it on Facebook, but they might as well stop because it is the same pose with the same clothes and the same look on their face, and essentially is the same Myspace-esque picture everytime!

I wish I could get more pictures of myself actively doing things, but I see three reasons why this can never happen: firstly – I hate having my picture taken, secondly – I spend most of my time not in class or at work doing homework or sleeping, and thirdly – I never remember to take my camera out with me when I do decide to do something kind of fun. I’ve heard of people commissioning painted portraits of themselves from artists for the sole purpose of posting them as profile pictures. I’d do that, except then I’d worry about people coming up to me and saying, “You know, you don’t look as 2-D as you do in your Facebook picture.” (OK, I’m being a little silly…)

But still, having a good Facebook picture is important – you must let people think that you are more intriguing than you really are.

On a side and completely different note, I would like to give a shout-out to my most loyal readers, my family (everyone who isn’t a loyal reader, you can just disregard the next bit). For reasons you all can guess, you’ve been constantly in my thoughts and prayers this past week or so, and it was my greatest sadness that I couldn’t be with you all this last weekend (I mean, think about it – it was the best excuse to miss class! I’d be completely blameless…well, still responsible for work, but blameless for missing class…). I love you guys so much!

Alright, I’m done being mushy. Time for Facebook (maybe today I WILL get a new picture…)

Ahhh…classes are coming back into full swing. I have tons of reading to do…and yet I find myself blogging instead of reading. Yes, things are back in the school routine.

You loyal readers may recall from my last posting (you not-so-loyal-readers or newcomers will just have to go back and read it) that I am taking a computer science class. I have never been ‘formally’ taught how to use a computer, so I was very interested in how my professor was going to go about teaching me things that I already sort of taught myself.

Well, the class is turning out to be more of a confidence boosting, you-can-do-it-because-nowadays-computers-are-made-for-morons sort of a class than a class where you learn about the intricacies of computer programming, which I’m fine with because I don’t want to be the next Bill Gates. My professor spends most of the class informing us that ‘computers don’t hate you’ and that ‘they want you to use them’ (obviously he did not know my old laptop, which really did hate me and was so insistent on not being used that it eventually stopped turning on for me).

It wants to hurt you!

So, to drive home this idea that computers are friends, not foes, my professor has given lectures with the titles of ‘I, Geek’ and ‘I, Borg’. I thoroughly enjoyed the ‘I, Geek’ lecture, where my professor attempted to convert myself and my peers into computer geeks by having us imagine that we were at a ‘geek party’ and needed to learn the ‘geek lingo’ so that we could have a good time (I thought all you’d need were a couple of drinks, but what do I know?). It was a cute little lecture, well-meant if not a bit overzealous.

But when the ‘I, Borg’ lecture rolled around, I started to have some serious issues with this ‘computers=friends, not foes’ philosophy. You see, the premise of the ‘I, Borg’ lecture was that my professor wanted us to become an extension of the computer (or, on the flipside, the computer to become an extension of us). He said (and I quote!) : “I want to make you one with the computer – I want you to become the Borg – RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!”

OH NO! The Borg!

Now, you loyal listeners know that I am a bit of a Trekkie, and my instinctive reaction to the words “Resistance is futile” is “NEVER!!!” So there I was, in class, with my professor, someone whom I thought I could trust, telling me to become a Borg! Well, instantly I thought, “Hell no!”, and now I’m right back to the beginning of the class, where I am hesitant to completely befriend my computer lest it turn me into a member of a cultish race where my individualism is erased and my identity becomes merely a number amongst millions!

I feel bad for my professor, though. He tries hard, and I give him kudos for that. I just wish he was a little more careful in picking his class examples. So, its his fault if I fail the class. I will NOT become a Borg.

The only thing the Borg are good for is as something to blow up.

Hello, dear readers! I am sad to report that there shall be no more summer reports, as yet another semester has crept up and classes began today.

Inside I am crying like this child.

Yes, I had to relinquish my Delightful Wards, and then pack up my junk and haul it all back to the apartment to countdown until classes start again. Of course, it is nice being back in the apartment with my giant room with my many dozens of books and the washer and dryer and a large spider as bedroom companions (I haven’t the heart to evict the spider, but the moment I can get rid of the washer and dryer, I shall!).

Yesterday (the last day of summer vacation) JLo and LaFonda and I all went on a day trip to the beach. Yes, I know there was the whole Hurricane Bill thing going on and they had red flags out everywhere, but we didn’t want to swim. It was quite nice, and I can’t imagine a nicer way to spend the last hours of summer (or with nicer people, too!). Naturally, I took pictures for my amusement and posterity’s sake; here are my faves for you to enjoy:

THESE people didn't pay attention to the red flag...

Red Flag!

Arrr...me booty! (ha ha, get it? 'Cause its my shoe, and pirates say...oh, never mind)

Nice clouds, huh?

My feet...chilly, but nice.

But now I am back at school, which means homework for me…sob. Of course, more homework for me means more blog postings for you loyal readers, so at least something good comes out of it all.

So, today was the first day of classes and I had three classes: a computer science course (where I learned that for someone who doesn’t know much about computers, I actually know quite a bit about computers), a class that is an introduction to basic linguistics (which, as geeky as it sounds, I am really excited about!), and a class about religion and art (which I think shall be very illuminating, if my brain agrees to get out of summer vacation mode again). So far they are pretty laid-back classes, without too much of a workload, but tomorrow is going to be my hell day because I have a seminar class (lots of reading!) and a three hour long Early British Literature class (on the plus side, its only once a week…). The religion and art class professor was so chill today, that he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, read us a poem he wrote, and then handed out a syllabus without a schedule of assignments or anything (which irked me just a little bit because I like to know when I should hand things in, otherwise I just won’t bother doing them).

But while my classes were good, the campus was a mess. Somebody decided to do construction all over the place, so they’ve closed the entire middle section of the campus where the Great Lawn was (it is now the Great Mud Puddle of Doom Surrounded by Horrid Green Fencing), and prevented anyone from getting from building to building in a timely fashion. There is now ONE available path from one end of the campus to the other, and of course it snakes around the very edge of the campus, so that it takes you ten minutes to walk to ANYWHERE. And since it is the only way from class to class, every single student, faculty and staff member has to use it, which means that it gets very cramped and if you get stuck behind someone who walks slowly, you are going to be screwed because there is no room to get around them.

But enough of that. In other news, I have been confusing a good many people now that my hair has grown out. People don’t seem to recognize me right away, though many have said that they prefer me with longer hair. One older gentleman who works in the library informed me that now my pretty hair matches my pretty voice, which was very sweet of him (obviously he has not heard my cackling laughter though – very Wicked Witch of the West).

Well, I’m afraid this is all I have the energy for this evening. Stay tuned though…this semester is just beginning.

I was informed by a loyal reader via telephone that it has been some time since my last blog posting, and they were quite right.

So, let’s see, what has happened these last few weeks? Well, I have been busy with the Delightful Wards, doing all sorts of things and watching all sorts of television shows that I ordinarily would not watch (a good deal of Disney Channel shows). I’ve been to the pool and have some semblance of a tan. We went to go see ‘Aliens in the Attic,’ and genuinely laughed. Cut up some magazines and Nordstrom advertisements and then made collages. I taught a Delightful Ward how to knit. I have seen a good deal of PetCo, thanks to one of the Delightful Ward’s interest in hermit crabs. She got a little hermit crab at the beach, from one of those souvenir shops, but unfortunately a few days later a claw fell off, and then the next day the crab was dead. So we went to the pet store and got her two replacement hermit crabs. However, less than a week later, one of those hermit crabs had kicked its tiny bucket as well. So, we had to go back and get yet another hermit crab, and they are still alive and thriving; of course, now that I’ve written this, I’ll show up at their house tomorrow morning and both of the crabs will be dead.

So, anyway, that’s the sort of more exciting of things that have happened. The summer is almost over, and in a couple weeks I’ll have to start dragging my butt around to class again. I’ve already ordered my books and recieved all of them, save the one book that I need to read before classes actually start. If I weren’t so annoyed, I’d laugh at the irony.

But as reluctant as I am to start classes and HOMEWORK again, I am thoroughly excited to see my friends again (JLo and LaFonda, I’m talkin about you!). So, two weeks left of summer, but I have to wait two weeks until I’m back at the apartment!

Hello my readers! I know, I know, it’s been a while, but your patience is being rewarded as I speak (or, technically, as I write and you read)!

I have been busy with work; I feel like most of my days are now being spent on the road, driving back and forth to pick up my Delightful Wards and take them places that they wish to go. We recently saw the new Harry Potter movie; I will say this, I am a book person, and so I had to mentally check myself before I went to the theater, reminding myself  that this was a movie made to make money, not accurately represent the book. I will admit, though, I was quite impressed – the book is still tons better, but the movie was very well done from a cinematographical (is that even a word?) point of view. The special effects and scenery were beautiful, and (dare I say it?) after six movies those darn kids finally learned how to act, so I quite enjoyed myself.

But yes, I’ve been driving around quite a bit. I have had the opportunity to go exploring in the areas near my house, visiting shopping centers I had no idea existed and getting myself lost in all sorts of new neighborhoods. Luckily, I’ve gotten so used to getting lost that it has become almost a second-nature to get myself un-lost (usually involves making U-turns on abandoned streets or in strangers’ driveways).

Fortunately, though, most of my driving happens on the same road. Unfortunately, this road happens to be a very busy highway that is currently undergoing construction in more than one spot. Thank goodness for iPods! I think I would have gone insane if it weren’t for my iPod and the beautiful music that I have the good sense (and taste!) to fill it with. I’ve spent the last week or so scouring YouTube, looking for new songs to buy on iTunes; watching random stuff on YouTube is quite relaxing, much like Wikipedia-surfing, and you’d be surprised at the sorts of things you end up finding. The other day, I found this fan-video somebody made for the bad guys in the 1973 version of ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ using the song ‘Got My Mind Set on You’ by George Harrison, a song that I have now added to the list of songs that I want on the soundtrack to the movie that someone is going to make about my life.

In addition to that, I’ve invested in the new Green Day CD and some Celine Dion songs, in addition to one of the songs off of the new Dave Matthews album (I ordinarily hate the Dave Matthews Band, but ‘Funny the Way It Is’ is really good) and the new Imogen Heap single. I know, its really quite a mix of music, but I find it hard to be loyal to one genre of anything when there is so much good stuff out there. So, as you can see, I am not entirely bored out of my mind on these drives, though I’m quite sure my fellow commuters who see me singing along think me quite insane.

I know that it is sad, but this has basically been my last two weeks. This, and an unfortunate visit to the dentist’s office because I needed a crown on one of my back molars. My mouth has been throbbing occasionally ever since they drilled away most of my tooth (I think my gums are angry at me), and next week I get my new crown. Yippee. And I am also waiting for three Amazon packages to come, two of which have shipped and one of which I am praying will arrive tomorrow so that I can spend my weekend watching all three seasons of ‘Black Books’. Hooray for British comedy!

So that’s all for today, folks…tune in next time!

Man, I can’t believe that it’s already July! This summer is starting to zoom by (I guess that happens when you are busy). I guess I should start by wishing a happy 4th of July to my fellow American readers! I hope you all are enjoying your hot dogs, apple pie, and fireworks (though I don’t think I’ve ever had all three on a 4th of July…hmmm…not very American of me…).

This past week has been quite busy; besides spending more time at the pool in the last four days than I had the previous two summers, I’ve been ice-skating, fishing, and done a lemonade stand with my Darling Ward. I hadn’t been ice-skating for at least four years, so I spent about the first half of our time on the ice hugging the wall, but the Darling Ward managed to convince me away from the edge and I spent the rest of our time skating about two feet away from the wall (of course, the Darling Ward was zooming ahead of me and doing circles around me). I only fell once, which was quite a triumph for me.

Definitely not me. There were four year olds skating better than me.

The lemonade stand was quite a hit, and I didn’t really have to do anything except carry a table and a cooler at one point. Fishing was quite an exciting experience; I’ve only been fishing once before, and it was with Father Dearest when I was much younger. As I recall, I only fished for about fifteen minutes before growing sick of it, and I hadn’t caught anything. Fortunately, this time the Darling Ward knew everything about fishing, and she was able to help her two friends that came along. I didn’t really fish, but I had to help the littlest friend with his fishing; the kids were pretty good, and caught a total of five fish together. Of course, none of them wanted to grab the wriggling fish off of the hook, and squealed whenever the poor fish started to spaz out. So guess who had to grab these unfortunate fish, take out the hooks and throw them back into the water?

Yes, me.

The first one was the worst, but after that I had no problem. Actually, to be honest, the slimy feel of fish scales was pretty neat; I just didn’t like the fish that had little spikes on their fins.

Thank goodness none of the fish were this big. I probably would have squealed and run away.

So I’ve been really tired after this week, but I’m still excited about next week. It’s like getting a second chance at childhood summers – awesome! Popsicles still taste as good as I remember.

And that’s about all the news I have. I’ve finally played the wonder that is called ‘Rock Band’; interestingly enough, I suck at playing the guitar and do tons better when on the drum set. Lots of fun, even though I can only do ‘Easy’ level – I tried ‘Medium’ and failed miserably…I wonder if Mumsy and Father Dearest would buy me a Wii and that game if I told them doing the drums was a great upper body work-out? (Because it sort of is…)